April Fools Round Up: The Year of Nostalgia
April Fools Day is once again upon us and as usual, tech companies everywhere have not failed to keep us entertained. With a trove of fantastic faux product launches and even some real product launches that were taken as April Fools jokes, people have been busy releasing their hilarious ideas. With many of these jokes being nostalgic and some even being functional it’s easy to appreciate the spirit behind them.
Samsung Galaxy Blade Edge
In a reference to the Galaxy Note Edge and S6 Edge, Samsung kicked off April with their latest product, the Blade Edge. The world’s first smart knife with smartphone capabilities, offering a stunningly in depth release page, they have outlined all the available features of this humorous device.
“Chop, cut, slice and dice up to 50% faster. The Galaxy BLADE edge features a set of sensors and algorithms that analyze your grip, dexterity and strength”
“Safety first with KNOX. With Samsung’s powerful defense-grade KNOX Security, you’ll never cut yourself again. Just scan your fingerprint on the home button and the BLADE’s finger-detection mechanism will be activated. The BLADE will retract before it cuts skin.”
“Apart from the extremely sturdy diamond and ceramic parts, the display is also covered with a protective, waterproof coating, specially formulated for Galaxy BLADE edge so chefs can accept calls and respond to messages anytime, without worrying if they spill a little bouillabaisse.”
“Galaxy BLADE edge comes with a stylus that doubles as a wireless meat thermometer and baking tool, to let you know when your pan-seared foie gras is the right temperature”
“No mammoths were killed for the handle – upon discovery under the North Sea, the tusks were carefully removed from the fossilized bodies, which were given a respectful burial back to their age-old graves.”
Moto Selfie Stick
Playing on the somehow popular selfie stick, Motorola have announced their latest product The Moto Selfie Stick through what can only be called a heart wrenching and inspirational release video. The Stick is a beautiful piece of craftsmanship, which will add a touch of class to your selfies that you’ve never experienced before with the solid wood handle and leather grip. Although with many places banning the new accessories such as festivals and art galleries, you may want to check before posing for your next perfect shot.
“To take such a raw form and craft it into one of the most practical and useful accessories around, it is like when the sun turns the rain in to a rainbow”
“It means a selfie stick is not just an accessory, it is an extension of who you are.”
“An artist is only as good as his brush, A selfie is only as good as it’s stick”
DOS for Windows Mobile
Many will have spent months of our lives at some point using MS-DOS. For those of us who miss this, Microsoft has the answer! With their new and functional “OS” (app launcher) for the Lumia series you can bring back the experience to Windows Phone. Undoubtedly more useful as a nostalgia tool than an actual app launcher, this certainly brings back many fond memories.
“Today we are going back to BASIC”
“we realised we had to fo back to the beginning, to when we first reinvented productivity”
“for me it’s a dream come true, MS-DOS was my first OS, grey scale is in my blood”
Source: Windows Central
Clippy for Sunrise
Continuing with the Microsoft memories, sunrise has now integrated “one of the most famous artificial intelligences of all time” in to their calendar. After 10 years, Clippy has returned with a new look to aid you with your day-to-day life.
“Clippy knows Sunrise inside and out. No need to email our support anymore, Clippy has all the answers you need”
“Clippy is now able to suggest events for you during your free time. It will know when it’s time to call your Mom, do your laundry or go out to get marshmallows.”
“Clippy is always learning. With it’s easy “yes or no” questions, Clippy learns from you each time you interact with it. Soon, it might just feel like no one has ever known you as well.”
T-Mobile Pets Unleashed
T-Mobile has “un-leashed” their new Pet friendly family plans, for just $5 a month you can add your pet to your family plan and include pet friendly devices and accessories. However, all jokes aside, T‑Mobile is making a $1 donation per visitor to the Humane Society, up to $10,000 and that is definitely one of the better things to come from April Fools this year.
“They can stream their favourite animal related content without using up your high speed data”
“Pets everywhere agree: T‑Mobile® is the cat’s meow—leaving AT&T and Verizon in the doghouse.”
“and with revolutionary apps like Fetch Freedom, Fit Pet and Pet Tinder, you have the freedom to interact with your pet in ways you never thought possible”
ASUS Zenfone Zero
In a poorly translated faux product launch, Asus have announced their new ZenFone Zero. An antique styled phone brought in to the 21st century via a removable circular touch screen (lacking the dreaded black bar found in the Moto 360). The phone even includes 3D hologram technology, and as for the other features, good luck figuring them out from the dire translation courtesy of wovn.io
“Carry around as a smart phone by removing the panel part!”
“Add 100 sheets of recorded music record!”
“Me scold naughty children app “Thunder Daddy” pre-installed”
“When removing the smartphone part also help mosquito coil placed in the summer!”
HTC re sok
Playing on the name given to their Re Camera, HTC’s gift for today is the SmartSock, a pair of socks with displays for your notifications meaning you will never miss your notifications whilst changing shoes again. Featuring GPS so you will never lose just one sock again and an automatic hole warning system. These socks which come in Midnight black, Stealth black and True black are exactly the socks you do not need in your life.
“What socks always knew they could be”
“Separated by fate, brought together by GPS”
“Offers 40% more sliding power on hardwood floors than any other socks”
iFixit has become iFaxit
In another functional but completely unnecessary April Fools, ifixit are now offering all their guides via fax. Their website is now optimized for and capable of being faxed, upon reaching your chosen guide simply press the “Fax This Guide” button and enter your number. We requested a Nexus 7 Battery Replacement Guide and it came through just minutes later.
“It’s bleeding-edge technology: the world’s first on-demand repair guide delivery service using the most modern facsimile technology.”
“With just the click of a button and the soothing tones of a dial-up modem, you can send repair guides absolutely anywhere… that there also happens to be a fax machine.”
“Car broke down on the side of the road? No problem. If we can fax it, you can fix it!”
April 1st is always a good opportunity to see a light-hearted side of companies and there have been some easily appreciated and elaborate jokes this year. To see those that Google has released this year be sure to check out our Google Round Up as well.
Have you been fooled by an April Fools this year? Leave a comment below!